Right now (4:30 a.m. on Thursday) I'm sitting at the airport, about three hours early with nothing to do. Why am I so early for a domestic flight? Besides being a product of one Leslie Epstein (and her threat to smite me if we miss our flight), the airports here are in terrible shape and you never know how traffic will be leading up to them. Better safe than sorry, amirite?
With all this time to kill, I figured I should scope out the potential thrills I'll be partaking in for the week. Just so you have some context, my threshold for thrills often tops out at being on a ski lift.
Here are the rides I'm most excited about.
Since I'll never be able to handle actual hang gliding, this simulator offers the perfect thrill-to-safety ratio. Plus I get to "travel" to places I haven't been yet! As opposed to Mission: SPACE (located in the same park) no one has ever died on this ride (as far as I'm aware). So that's a plus. Still think Mission: Space is better? Staci thinks you're wrong.
Some claim that the Animal Kingdom is just a giant zoo, but I've never been able to go on a safari in a zoo before. It might not be as legit as a safari in Africa, but some boy got bitten by a snake that dropped out of a tree a couple years ago, so that feels pretty authentic. Plus, they're considered to have a decent conservation program, so I'm on board with that.
Park: Animal Kingdom
Most of you know by now that I'm an animator by trade and even applied to be a Disney animator on my last visit to Disney when I was just 12 years old. Sadly, I didn't make the cut (ageism, man). Now I can go back to the studios with my head held high and enjoy all the latest offerings from the place that inspired me to pursue my dream!
As you may have noticed, I'm a fan of simulator rides. I think it all started way back in the day with this very ride! Of course, now it'll be revamped with all the latest Star Wars characters and plot lines, but I'll always think of it as the janky ride that my dad loved in the early 90s back when the park was still called MGM.
Park: Hollywood Studios
This ride is a classic for a few reasons. It's one of the few actual thrill rides I can tolerate (and enjoy) and it's set inside of a freakin' "Twilight Zone" episode -- a show I marathon New Years Day and every other holiday it's on.
Park: Hollywood Studios
Don't worry, my mom already has Fast Passes for all of the above and then some. We'll also be partaking in the Food & Wine Festival. Besides the obvious amazing chefs, tasting flights, and cooking lessons, the festival also includes nightly performances by everyone who was popular the last time I was in Disney World: Sugar Ray, Boyz II Men, Blues Traveler, and Hanson (no joke). Can't wait to get my 90s on this week!