Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form do I support this holiday, but it's right around the corner, and lifesavers that we are, we've got you covered way in advance for buying your travel-loving significant other something better than some cliche-ass chocolates and roses.
Feel free to send all that chocolate my way. Here's what you can buy instead:
1. I Love You So Much, I Would Even Pick You Up at the Airport Tote Bag, $24.90 Airportag
If picking someone up at JFK, BWI, or god forbid, LaGuardia, doesn't say I love you, frankly I don't know what does.
2. Classic Framed Print, $60 Social Print Studio
Social Print Studio makes it super easy to pick your best Instagram shots and print them out in a variety of ways. Jen made me a Lisbon and a Madrid book for Hanukkah this year, and these framed prints are classic and cool. Very #2015BestNine. If you're so inclined, you can pick nine of your favorite selfies of you and your S.O.
3. Precious Playlist Speaker, $44.99 Modcloth
In case you're not ready to spring for a real diamond yet, why not mind-fuck your girlfriend with a giant pink diamond-shaped speaker? You can make her a really nice Spotify playlist to go with it, and she can take the speaker with her and listen to the tunes on the road at full blast.
4. Customizable Valentine's Boarding Pass Throw Pillow, $49.90 Airportag
Jen and Mike met on a plane, and if he wasn't completely over the amount of pillows she has already managed to fit into their adorable little apartment, maybe he would buy her this one for VDay. Mike <3 Jen, awww.
5. Men's Society No. 2 Weekender Wash Kit, $35 Urban Outfitters
Relationship expert that I am, I have no idea if it is appropriate for girls to buy guys gifts for Valentine's Day or not. And since I like to pretend Valentine's Day isn't a thing, I am all in for no one buying anyone ANYTHING, but I suppose if your dude isn't the freshest guy off the plane after a red eye, this is a nice TSA-friendly kit to keep him smelling A-OK.
6. Funny Letterpressed Valentine, Sassy Mini Cards (4 pack), $8 Flyaway Paperworks
Say you and your S.O. are spending VDay apart this year because one of you is traveling (welp, good on the traveler). It's a nice touch to say "I hate everyone but you," with a stylish, handwritten note from our favorite stationery company, Flyaway Paperworks. Just be sure to send it a day early since Valentine's Day is on a Sunday this year (haha, too bad, so sad).
7. Lomography Instant Camera Havana Edition, $169 Urban Outfitters
This is some Urban Outfitters hipster shit if I've ever seen it. It's basically a nifty little Polaroid camera, old school style. So you can print your romantic memories instantly and like...sleep with them under your pillow or something.
8. Taschen's Paris 2nd Ed., $39.99 Taschen
Paris is the City of Love, amirite, mon frere? So maybe you can't afford to take your loved one on a vacation there anytime soon. Instead, read about it and dream of the days you two can walk hand in hand along the banks of the Seine. ::gag::
I'll be dreaming right along with you too, imagining myself on the banks of the Seine, stuffing my face with pastries, singing "Damn it feels good to be a spinster."