It's getting to be that point in the winter when I desperately, DESPERATELY just want it to end. Of course it could be worse. I could live in New England. But I don't, and that's for a good reason. We had like six inches here last night, and that's nothing compared to what our friends in New England are experiencing, yet I am furious. I want to fire punch the snow.
I am having a medical procedure done later this week so I had to go to Target yesterday to pick up some doctor-sanctioned Jell-O, and it was a total clusterfuck. I just wanted some goddamn Jell-O but everyone was like "OMG MILK TOILET PAPER END OF THE WORLD!!1!!" I haven't seen lines that long since Black Friday. Sigh. Marylanders, I promise you -- you will not even need AN single can of non-perishable food for half a foot of snow. In fact, you can probably get away without shoveling.
Which is the fucking worst, by the way.
Of course...some of us love winter.
Just look at that motherfucker. He has a block of ice stuck to his fucking nose, and he is dancing around because there's some thundersnow. God I wish I loved my job that much. But I can promise you, you'll never hear me say "OMG A COMMA SPLICE!!!! THIS IS BETTER THAN WINNING THE LOTTERY! YOU TAKE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS! I'LL TAKE SOME POOR WRITING!"
You will also never hear me get that excited about snow. More power to you, Jim Cantore, but...
I miss Jen a lot too, but I've been hearing from her. She loves Iceland despite mini blizzards at periodic intervals that are keeping her perpetually wet and cold. In case you don't already follow her on Instagram, you really should. At first I was kinda jealous, and then I was like...oh, actually, I hate winter.
So in honor of my hatred of winter, I realized Jen and I did our snow day playlists all fucking wrong. Sure, there are some solid tunes on both of those playlists, but really these playlists should be GTFO playlists. Take your ass to the Caribbean playlists. So today I give you a little dance hall, a little reggae, a little reggaeton.
I'll just be here under my heated blanket, wishing the seasonal depression away with some sweet island jams.